Chapter 3 - Burnout Paradise

300 MILLION MPH!

What do you mean "not even close"?
I'm pretty sure I was going faster than the speed of awesome right there.

Humph, whatever, I don't actually care about how fast I was going, it was fast enough that I felt the hair on my neck stand up.

Have you seen that crash? Lord that was impressive. I don't remember feeling actual pain when a car crashed like that in Video Game Land. Never mind that temporary setback though, I'm jumping right back in the cockpit. This is exhilarating. Cars, streets, signs, everything flies by in a blur. Everything but people that is. There seems to be no one living in this big city. Why even have a railway network if no one takes the public transports? Not that there are any trains either though.

So this city is just populated with cars? littered with ramps, short cuts, breakable signs, and conveniently place challenges at every corner, literally. So this is paradise seen through the eyes of a car then? It's not half as bad as it could be. You get to race like a maniac everywhere you could want to, break every speed limit you can think of, every traffic rules you dare to, and you get rewarded for driving like that? I can see the appeal, very easily. You crashed? you can continue right there and then. You want something to do? Everywhere there are challenges waiting for you, and if you really find yourself turning in circles, you just need to snap your blinkers to find yourself along other deceased cars who've been brought to paradise. Compete as much as you want with them or just fool around, make up your own fun, it's stupidly easy.

Oh the joy of flying through the air and landing in a wonderful pile a junk trying to turn yourself in the smallest possible pile of metal. The thrill of starting a Showtime and causing mayhem on the streets  blowing as much cars and buses as you can. I'll just do one more race, one more pursuit, I'll get one more car to inhabit, one more board to smash, one more short cut to open, one more, one more, one more, again - more!

If I were a car, I really wish I could go to Paradise when I die. There really is no other place quite like this.