Chapter 1 - Spelunky

My lips dried and cracked by sand,

with the desert stretching behind me,

I strode valiantly toward my destiny,

and vowed to return victorious...

Every time I go back, it seems a new thought is crossing my mind.

I delve into those deep caves once more hoping to make it past my previous point. My trusty whip cracks at every corner as I fight bats, snakes and spiders. I jump around trying to reach every last piece of treasure lying around. If money is the name of the game, getting around is still half the fun down here. I know my moves and few are the ledges that I cannot reach, I'm fit and the training my plumber of a dad gave me pays off.

If the other guy with a whip and a hat hates snakes and don't care much for spiders, it's the exact opposite with me, and even in their 16bit glory, I cannot pass by one of those nasty bugs without getting the chill. So imagine my face when I reach what must be the mother of all those spiders, waiting on the ceiling ready to pounce on me. I have to go through, the exit is right there, waiting for me. I know my whip won't cut it... but maybe, yes, maybe a bomb? I through it at the creature, hoping to knock it down, and, miracle! the bomb gets stuck in the web below, exploding right in the face of the monster and taking it out in one blow. A pot drops, and I receive sticky bombs for my victory. A reward immensely appreciated and pretty logical all things considered, I get spider web thingy on my bombs, now they are sticky - genius! The cave of Spelunky will never cease to amaze me.

I go deeper in the darkness, avoiding the traps and monster that block my path. Watching Indiana Jones so much probably saved my life when I take that golden statuette and run for my life away from the huge boulder I knew would come crashing when I lifted the artefact. Things are going pretty smoothly this time, I'm quite amazed to be honest, the difficulty of that game is fiendish at times. Of course, just when I get comfortable, the caves will trough a trap in my face that I did not spot or I will miss a stupidly easy jump and crash down right next to a bunch of snakes and die in a second. But this time, I make it out, I survive and get to the next level unarmed.

A Shopkeeper, fantastic, I'll stock on items... or, wait a minute, he sells a gun? Could I do what I'm thinking? I buy the gun and turn to the keeper, shooting him in the face, again and again, it takes so many shots to have him dead for good... But boy was it worth it! I grab his shotgun and everything he had on sale, bombs, ropes, goggles... everything! this is just fantastic!

One level deeper, the shop is back, but that's my face in that big WANTED poster... I'll need to shoot first then. I gun him down, again, and fill my pocket with great loot once more. Why have I never done that before? It seems so easy now. One level down, I save the lady in the red dress, one more level I approach the exit, it's just down there now... What is that thing ? Oh my, the shopkeeper has left his shop I see, he's after me I guess, I need to be careful. But that won't do, he's right on my path, I'll have to take him down, it'll be a showdown. I jump down from my safe observation spot and discharge my shotgun. Right in the face, good, I think he's gone. As I walk past him, he gets up and shoots me in the back, I'm dead, once more...

I regret nothing, once again, I managed to have an entirely new expedition in the caves of Spelunky. Who would have thought that if Mario and Nethack had a baby the offspring would actually manage to be better than both parents? Certainly not me. But I am glad I was wrong, and I'll go again, and again, and again until I exhaust it, which is not going to happen any time soon I imagine.